Unloading.

I used to base my strength on the number of people who come to me for advices. I had a number of friends before who trusted me with every bit of their life stories. Lately, things had gone silent. Ever since I started sharing the worst of myself it's like they had forgotten who I was. I became the one taken care of. But now that they're all gone, I feel so alone.

I don't like being confined and see the rest of them with different people. It's like if I go out everyone fears I would again do something stupid. Maybe no one trusts me anymore. In return I'm having a hard time trusting as well. But then again, when I do trust they have a point. I got scammed didn't I?

I'm emotional. I used to like having people tell me their emo-shit because I can relate to it. But now, I'm annoyed whenever someone tells me something that I find too simple yet grown into a complicated sitch that only they can fix. Especially from teens. Maybe it's because these aren't the friends I know. These are the ones who confide in me just because I happen to be around.

I want to feel important from those who are important to me. I want to feel that I can depend on them when I need them. But because we are all living separate lives, I have to deal with most stuffs on my own... but still trying to be there for them when they do come around to seek my help.

I know it's not right... but why do I feel like it's so unfair that I feel like they can't offer me the same openness I share with them?

*sigh* I wish for more strength... I badly need it.