Saturday, January 10, 2009

Patience Don't Desert Me

I don't know why he keeps insisting I let go. That if I can't take it anymore I better just give the relationship up. It's not fair. Why is he making me decide? I don't see any problem with me. I'm doing my best to not let it be a problem with me, and make it my problem. It's just that he's the one who seems to be so eager to end this damned relationship.

I understand he's in a lot of stress lately. I just feel so terrible because I know I've exerted enough effort for this relationship this time. I meant everything I said about the guilt that killed me before. My mistakes, yeah... I know that. I KNOW THAT! And there's not a day that I don't regret it. It now feels like I'm being punished. Is he punishing me this way? It sure feels like it. I don't want my mind to wander off just because I'm dying because of what he's doing to me.

Instead of feeling appreciated I'm still around he wants me to go. Why can't he be the one to let go if he badly wants that!?

or better yet.. just kill me...
:tsk: