smiley crazy...

have you seen the new smiley on my tagboard in my other blog??? the silly looking anime sort of gifs? yeah... for two nights now i've beent tweaking my blog's html to try and store those smileys to show up on my post. could't sleep actually knowing that other bloggers were able to install it. :( well it worked here and this is a beta version. that's something to start with. but i have no idea how to do it in my home blog. argh! this had been driving me nuts.

add in my longing to buy my own laptop. just the small one of at least 12.1inches or something. i'm also eyeing an mp4... :D sadly, they're too out of reach. :( mom, dad, and the two kids are off to manila today. they took the car with them. trying if it could do long travels. wish i could come but my aunt doesn't seem to want us there. besides, there was very little space left when they're off to baguio after so, we're really not invited (nor welcome).

so yeah... im left with my tantrums right now. ::(

Dear Guts,

honestly... just when you need the courage to do something, you lose the nerves to do it. i again feel insecure about my writing skills. i've always been this way anyway. ever since i realized i know i write good, i just don't see myself as better. there's always someone out there that would intimidate me making me curl up on my insecurities. why just writing this makes me squirm.

when i don't feel that great when writing i find myself stupidly redundant with the words that i use and that's not really great. oh what am i suppose to do? i have so many dreams. they say read a lot, and you'll become a better writer. yeah write! ahahaha! this is really embarassing.

then i realized this blogs pagerank and alexa ranking is higher that my home blog! what's up with that? i don't even know if there's a bit of traffic in here. if only i could switch its ranking then maybe i'd be earning more with the ppp and ads that im working on to earn a bit of extra income.

oh well! whatever... just talking nonsense here. ::(