im not good with emotional pressure... or is it, too much pressure makes me emotional? being emotional is a pressure? whichever...
expectations. don't they suck?
that's what usually binds all abilities and capabilities. all these expectations. suppressed. that's what happens. when people starts living their fears on you, you end up overloaded with suffocating expectations.
aren't we suppose to make our own ghosts? why do we have to runaway from someone else's monster?
some may suggest and comment on why not simply ignore it and start living your own life? if only it was that easy. when you live with people you love you often tend to not want to disappoint them. you want to live up to what they want from you. you expect that whatever they suggest (which you instantly believe anyway) will work. you look up to how they inspire you and in the end you go deeper, digging your set of failures.
that's what happens:
... you fail them. you fail yourself.
you gain nothing but realization that no matter what you do, you can never be happy until you've freed yourself from the chains of their monsters.
but how? how do you do that? struggle? strife?
to runaway is cowardly. to stay is suicide. now what?
if only i could paint well you'd see a girl cowered in one corner with all these ghostly hunted figures towering her existence. some say the more they expect from you, the more they trust you. but how could you believe they do trust you when not one thing works for them.
lack. not enough. that's always the major comment. how much more is needed? what else can you do?
they say worrying can drive you loco. but if you don't have any other option, worrying is the only response you can muster.
sigh.
life.
it's just full of it. :(
expectations. don't they suck?
that's what usually binds all abilities and capabilities. all these expectations. suppressed. that's what happens. when people starts living their fears on you, you end up overloaded with suffocating expectations.
aren't we suppose to make our own ghosts? why do we have to runaway from someone else's monster?
some may suggest and comment on why not simply ignore it and start living your own life? if only it was that easy. when you live with people you love you often tend to not want to disappoint them. you want to live up to what they want from you. you expect that whatever they suggest (which you instantly believe anyway) will work. you look up to how they inspire you and in the end you go deeper, digging your set of failures.
that's what happens:
... you fail them. you fail yourself.
you gain nothing but realization that no matter what you do, you can never be happy until you've freed yourself from the chains of their monsters.
but how? how do you do that? struggle? strife?
to runaway is cowardly. to stay is suicide. now what?
if only i could paint well you'd see a girl cowered in one corner with all these ghostly hunted figures towering her existence. some say the more they expect from you, the more they trust you. but how could you believe they do trust you when not one thing works for them.
lack. not enough. that's always the major comment. how much more is needed? what else can you do?
they say worrying can drive you loco. but if you don't have any other option, worrying is the only response you can muster.
sigh.
life.
it's just full of it. :(
