Stay Alright

I'm okay.. I was okay.. it was a good morning.

Sigh.

I can't help feeling it. It's not funny. I'm keeping my emotions contained. I know I can do it.. it's just that I feel like I'm mocking myself.

I have to stay okay.. I have to stay strong. Focus...

I wish it's that easy to simply ignore this annoying feeling. I'm drowning in my own fear.

I'll just probably cry this fear away later...

I know I'll get in trouble again for this post... but I have no one else to talk to. Where's a mirror when you need one?

I looked pretty yesterday.. blooming actually.

Yeah... the last sentence made no sense.

Who? You!

in views of hating the world. this is a random writing as to the bursting remains of pain. i had kept hidden what i thought was nothing. but no... i have deprived myself of the ability to show off pain. and hate. therefore, here, i'll let go.

you... how could you? don't ask for my forgiveness. maybe i have given it already. but don't expect that i'll ever trust you again. no way. i can't actually consider you a friend now. you'll just be another acquaintance. what you did is beyond the limit of what i could endure. you probably were just at the wrong time to do such betrayal. had it been some other lifetime i could have just ignored it. so, i'm sorry girl if i choose not to open my door again to you.

you... yes you whom made me believe i'm an evil person. you, whom degraded me. blinded me with shameless accusations that i failed to see the fact that you are doing things equally or more than what i could've done. how dare you?

you... the two faced fool. you can't fool me. i can see the two sides of you, playing safe and all.

you... the every you that belittles me. watch as i move on. as i grow. as i bloom. you... there'd be lots of you in the world. but there'd only be one ME. the me that could withstand the many bad you's that would challenge my ability.

me... it will be ME on top of my life. me who'd control it... me who'll keep surviving... me who'll do it all... it won't be you.

if i'm not making sense, i wish you knew, that i didn't intend for you to understand... i'm simply expressing what i wish i had told you.